Websites www.selfharm.org.uk www.siari.co.uk www.self-injury-abuse-trauma-directory.info Useful organisations National Self-harm Network (NHSN) PO Box 7264, Nottingham NG1 6WJ email: info@nshn.co.uk web: www.nshn.co.uk Supports survivors and people who self-harm YoungMinds 102–108 Clerkenwell Road, London EC1M 5SA parents information service: 0800 018 2138 web: www.youngminds.org.uk For anyone concerned about a child’s mental health The Basement Project PO Box 5, Abergavenny, Wales NP7 5XW tel. 01873 856 524 Publications, groups and workshops for people who self-harm British Red Cross 9 Grosvenor Crescent, London SW1X 7EJ tel. 020 7235 5454, web: www.redcross.org.uk Free training in camouflaging scars Mindinfoline tel. 0845 766 0163 Mind is the leading mental health organisation in England andWales, providing a unique range of services. MindinfoLine is Mind’s helpline and information service. Contact them for details of Local Mind Associations NAPAC 42 Curtain Road, London EC2A 3NH helpline: 0800 085 3330, web: www.napac.org.uk National information service for people abused in childhood. Self Harm Alliance PO Box 61, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire GL51 8YB helpline: 01242 578 820, web: www.selfharmalliance.org A national survivor-led voluntary group Survivors UK 16 Swan Court, 9 Tanner Street, London SE1 3LE helpline: 0845 122 1201, web: www.survivorsuk.org.uk For men who have experienced any form of sexual violence Bristol Crisis Service for Women PO Box 654, Bristol BS99 1XH helpline: 0117 925 1119 Helpline for women, with a focus on self-harm Threshold Women and Mental Health Helpline 14 St George's Place, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 4GB helpline: 0845 3000 911, email: thrwomen@gloablnet.co.uk Information line for women with mental health problems Hearing Voices Network 91 Oldham Street, Manchester M4 1LW tel. 0161 834 5768, email: hearingvoices@care4free.net web: www.hearing-voices.org.uk Runs local self-help-groups British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) BACP House, 35–37 Albert Street, Rugby CV21 2SG tel. 0870 443 5252, minicom: 0870 443 5162 email: bacp@bacp.co.uk web: www.bacp.co.uk See web or send A5 SAE for details of practitioners in your area | The information here, below, is taken from Understanding Self Harm, published by MIND (National Association for Mental Health). This pamphlet may be downloaded/printed from the Internet. What does it mean to self-harm? Self-injury, such as cutting or burning yourself, is a way of expressing very deep distress. Often people don’t know why they self-harm. It’s a means of communicating what you can’t put into words or even into thoughts, and has been described as expressing an inner scream. Afterwards, you may feel able to cope with life again, for a while. We all have times when we behave self-destructively. We may not recognise it, because we are doing perfectly ordinary activities, such as smoking or overeating. People often overwork, for example, to try and lose themselves and avoid being alone with their thoughts and feelings.
Why do some people self-harm? Self-harming behaviour is a way of dealing with unbearable feelings. These feelings are released through the body, where they can be seen and dealt with. You may be overwhelmed by painful emotions, such as rage, sadness, emptiness, grief, self-hatred, fear, or guilt. Injuring yourself may help you cope in a number of different ways. It may be a way of getting the pain out, distracting yourself from it, communicating how you are feeling, or of finding comfort from someone else. It may be a way of punishing yourself, or of attempting to get some control over your life. Self-harming behaviour is common, but not well understood. Although statistics are misleading, because people are often unwilling to admit to injuring themselves, the numbers seem to be rising. It’s a problem that affects more women than men (except in the prison population) and tends to involve more young people. A significant number of people who self-harm come from minority groups, who are discriminated against within society.
Young people Young people often feel under great pressure from their family, school and peer group to conform or to excel. If there’s no chance of living up to these expectations, even high achievers may express their anger through aggression and destructiveness. Others may express feelings of powerlessness and lack of self-worth in the same way.
Is self-harming behaviour attention-seeking? Self-harm is often treated with mistrust or fear and described as attention-seeking and manipulative behaviour, because it can be hard to understand. It’s important to remember that a person who is self-harming may be using the only way they can to communicate their plight to other people, and to try and get the attention, care and comfort they need. However upsetting it may be for you, it doesn’t necessarily mean the person’s intention is to upset you.
What makes people start to self-harm? You may harm yourself once or twice, when dealing with a particularly difficult time or difficult feelings, and never do so again. But self-harming can sometimes become a regular way of coping with life on a monthly, weekly, or even a daily basis, in some circumstances. This is because it becomes a way of dealing with problems in the present, not just in the past. It may be triggered by something that reminds you of feelings from the past, such as an anniversary or a particular event, which sets off a hidden memory. Sometimes, it can start because something out of the ordinary happens to shake you up. It could also be that the circumstances of your ordinary life are so difficult that self-harm is the only way you can cope.
What help can I get? If your experiences have been so painful that you needed to deal with your emotions by hurting yourself, you may now seriously doubt whether you can deal with them in any other way. But people do move forward, to grieve over a lost childhood and work through the fear and confusion surrounding it. With the aid of plenty of support they learn that they can cope with the pain, anger and rage, which have to surface. The important thing is to find ways to start talking to someone you trust. It could be to a friend, a family member, a professional counsellor, a psychologist or a psychotherapist.
What can I do to help myself? Learn about yourself Knowledge is power. Gather as much information as possible about your own behaviour. Keep notes of what is going on when you feel the need to harm yourself, so that you can identify, over a period of time, specific thoughts which come up. It’s also useful to keep a daily diary recording events and feelings. Powerful emotions of happiness, anger or pain can be difficult to deal with. It’s helpful to record how you cope with and channel these. Think about your anger and what you do with it. If you weren’t busy being angry with yourself, who would you really be angry with? Write a list of people who have caused you to feel like this. You deserve good things in life, not punishment for what others have done to you.
Treat yourself well Stay within safe limits. If you are cutting yourself, use something clean, and preferably sterile, which hasn’t been used by other people.
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