Studying for a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy

The Role of the Therapist

  Personal Development Profile Diploma Year:

In this piece of work I recognise a number of strands in my development this past year.  Additionally I recognise a more direct relationship to the module to be assessed through this piece of work, namely The Role of The Therapist.

For being in the role of a therapist is what all the work to date has been about and is culminating in.

I wonder about the excitement I feel for being on the cusp of diploma qualification, and the apprehension that this piece of work is the final chapter in this script.

More than the excitement and apprehension, though, is a sense of confidence that I am capable of achieving this qualification, and more.  Reflecting on this I recognise an acceptance within myself of my capacity to achieve and also an acceptance from tutors and peers that this achievement can be mine.

Acceptance of being is a basic tenet in working with clients in therapy.  The role of the therapist in Gestalt therapy is to accept the person as they are at that moment and in the accepting of ‘what is’ lies the opportunity for growth and change.

Much of my past has been overlaid with the impression that I needed ‘to get it right’, and, actually in writing this, I realise that this is inaccurate. What I ‘had to do’ is ‘not get it wrong’.

This sense is still in me, and I am also conscious of not wishing to achieve too well as the inevitably is to then get it wrong - to not achieve.  Behind this is a sense of what is expected of me by others.  These are introjects that are coming to my awareness in this last year.

What, though, of my own expectations? Previously my expectations were severely limited; I was not worthy to have expectations.  I have grown to recognise I have, and am allowed, expectations; and life, in general, is offering much for me.  Yet I acknowledge here my expectations are reined in whilst I take stock of my own world and self, and work on undoing introjects, not least those of ‘you must not get it wrong’ and ‘you must meet others expectations’.

This last introject also exemplifies how I will also project an expectation on to another and in this sense I have a self-fulfilling failing for myself.  My experience in this with my group has clearly demonstrated how I am accepted as I am.  There is no need to rise to expectations; I am accepted as I am.  In my peer review I am happy to hear that I am seen as a more solid figure of myself.

My personal development work continues to provide new growth as well as uncovering stifled growth; and reaping a harvest of feelings and desires of excitement, love, compassion and fulfilment.

I was inspired in Group Process in December by the reflections of a member of the group. Having written down this inspiration I later realised how much this was about me, my growth, my inner child:

I saw you in the mist

But could not find the path.

The swirling fog hid you

As I caught you in my sight.

Fearing the mist that has kept you distant

Knowing how close you must be.

Dearly wishing to reach out to you

Not knowing how dear the price has been.

Looking for a path, for my way to you

These untrod steps searching an untrod way.

Seeking the path waiting to grow

To be nurtured by the tread of my feet.

So, as I learn to step towards you,

The mist of fear swirls clear

In recognition that I am now here

To meet you in this space that is ours.

You Have Been Missed, written December 2003

 In this year I finally began to meet me, to recognise what I had come through, and to realise my search was being fulfilled.

At the same time I am recognising the internal strength that has been with me since commencing therapy and this course.  This strength has sustained me to complete the course work and to open myself to exploration in therapy, group therapy and Group Process.  This strength has grown and remains with a smooth hardness and sheen of a weathered stone.

In some ways I do not feel different from the start of the course, let alone the start of this last year.  The sameness is at the root of my being.  As expressed above, the change is with the capacity and strength of my being.

In completing the peer assessment form I am pleased that qualities I have held to this last year, qualities I have held through tortuous times over the past few years, are recognised within the group.  In particular a quality of respect towards the group, allowing (supporting) their exploration in how and where they are.

Though, for me, remains the task to work more on externalising how I am.  This word ‘externalise’ has become prominent of late for me.  I still find difficulty in verbalising, externalising, what is going on for me and, in conjunction with that, attaching and exploring in the group my feelings and experiences.

As I think this over I see the opportunity to go further and deeper in the exploration of my self.

In looking to externalise more I am looking at change.  Change requires, first, to know ‘the what’ and ‘the where’ of my self; else how might any change be recognised.  Only in the process of this essay have I discovered the link to my past behaviour and not externalising my thoughts and my thinking.  I had approached my way of being as a fundamental way of my being; that the way I process internally is ‘just the way I am’.

Whilst I derive benefit – or is it comfort – with this I need not remain this way.  Being aware of what I do opens the opportunity to explore what lies behind this process. Through working on this profile I have begun to explore this process.

The polarity of externalising my thinking is introspection.  I do this a lot.

“When you introspect, you peer at yourself” Perls et al., (1951:1984, p157).

Perls goes on to comment on how universal, in Western culture, is it taken for granted that exploring self will include introspection and stresses the need to examine how the introspection is conducted.

Introspection is a form of retroflection and retroflection has loomed large in my past.

To retroflect means literally “to turn sharply back against”. … “He stops directing energy outwards … instead redirects activity inward and substitutes himself in place of the environment … he splits his personality into “doer and “done to” Perls et al.,(1951:1984, p146)

Whilst I seek to grow and understand myself deeper my tendency is to do this through introspection and is so doing split off the observing part of me from the observed part of me.

“… not until this split is healed will a person fully realize that self-awareness which is not introspected can exist.” Perls et al.,(1951 :1984, p158).

“We grow by what happens between people, not by looking inward.” Yontef (1993, p33)

The start of this past academic year began with the workshop on shame.  This, for me at least, seems a highly appropriate and well-positioned module in terms of the overall course structure.  Essentially I am saying I was ready in my personal development for this module.  I reflect now on my introspection and will explore this in the context of shame.

The Gestalt treatment of shame is to approach shame as a self-protection mechanism and is the feeling experienced when inwardly we believe the result may alienate us from a significant other, rupturing the interpersonal bridge.  Shame may be seen as crossing the boundary of our internalised rules and laws that are inside our contact boundary, internal to the self.

Erskine (1995, p107) states that shame is…  “protective dynamics to avoid the vulnerability to humiliation and the loss of contact-in-relationship with others”.

Shame is a creative adjustment from something worse and in this adjustment the shame binds itself to the sensation that previously proved too difficult or painful to hold.

My growing edge is to look at my introspective approach, exploring my aim for doing this; how shame may cover a vulnerability; and how I may address and work what may have been to difficult or painful.

This all is so vital to my growth as a therapist; so vital to informing my practice, my role, as a therapist; as a Gestalt therapist.

The aim of Gestalt psychotherapy is to raise the awareness of the client to what they do and in doing so explore behind this.  Thus I need to be able to do this for myself; how might I stand with another in a place I would not stand myself?

Gestalt psychotherapy is a humanistic, holistic model of therapy.  From Perls et al (1951:1984, p257) “We see that meaningful wholes exist throughout nature, in physical and conscious behaviour both, in the body and the mind.”

Gestalt psychotherapy approaches the world of the client from a stance of accepting the client as they are.  That the client is being as they are, in the best possible way, through having adjusted and adapted their life experiences.

The Gestalt approach is based on the absolute inseparable unity of bodily experience, language, thought and behaviour (whether or not in awareness).  Clarkson (2000, p20), and Zinker (1978, p162) both identify that the goal of Gestalt therapy is awareness, and awareness is “that an individual is attending to his experience”

Thus my aim, my goal as a therapist is qualified.  As for my role as a therapist, this is informed very much by my desire to be a therapist.

“Each of us is attracted to and remains in this profession based on our personal story.” Erskine (1999).

My reasons for choosing this path are at the heart of my role as a therapist.  As I grow in self-awareness I continue to re-evaluate my course of action in the light of new knowledge and awareness, and yet I always come back to my role as a catalyst. 

Yontef points to the role of the therapist as “that of a participant-observer of Here-and-Now behavior and catalyst for the phenomenological experimentation of the patient.” Yontef (1993, p54).

Over 15 years ago I recognised a theme in my work of being a catalyst, indeed my very first business company related to my role as a catalyst for change (in business).  I believe this recognition is significant to my choosing to work as a therapist.

My analysis prior to starting this course looked at my career to date and which aspects provided the deeper fulfilment for me.  This fulfilment was the most satisfying during my time as a teacher in secondary school.  From this I was able to focus on the essence of this satisfaction as being the contact with the pupils in my care; the satisfaction in giving each a measure of respect as a human being; providing the environment for self growth; and my pleasure seeing this begin to blossom.

Within Gestalt therapy the role of the therapist is to work with the client in drawing attention to current experiences and feelings.

“Phenomenology seeks the truth or source of knowledge by concentrating on immediate experience, shorn of assumptions or presuppositions” Clarkson (2000, p15).

I find I am more able to stay with my immediate experiences.  In workshops and interactions with tutors I have found myself being able to relate in a manner that is borne out in my peer assessment “how respectfully you meet everyone … so they can explore where they are …”

Yet, in recent months my personal relationships have shown how my past can overwhelm me and put confusion, misunderstanding, doubt, and fear in the way of contact.  I am working through this, and this is painful.   Compared to when I begun this course I recognise how much stronger I am in working this process.  Then my world may have – and previously had – come crumbling down around me; like a nuclear shame bomb!

I have come far in the last few years, and this past year has allowed me to anchor myself solidly.  Now I recognise the key to clearing confusion, misunderstanding, doubt and fear is through the relationship, through the relating to an other.

In my work I am in relation with my client.  Our work this last year on Dialogic supported my way of being and drive for this work.  When I reflected on my life before commencing the course I distilled my teaching experiences to discover the essential elements of my motivation and satisfaction and found Dialogic to be my attitude.  The years following teaching and becoming a therapist I now recognise as barren, and sapping of energy, my dialogic stance.

And what is Dialogic?  Dialogic is “the belief that the ultimate basis of our existence is relational or dialogic in nature: we are all threads in an interhuman fabric.” Hycner & Jacob (1995, p6)

Hycner and Jacobs, (1995, p9) point out that ‘the human heart yearns for contact - above all it yearns for genuine dialogue…  Each of us secretly and desperately yearns to be met - to be recognized in our uniqueness, our fullness and our vulnerability’

I see my role as therapist as being with my client and being available for contact and meeting and being available to answering what the human heart yearns for.

I am clear in my role as therapist I am not engaging with my client to meet my needs, my yearnings for contact and dialogue; this I fulfil elsewhere and with others in my own therapy, with my peers and with supervision.

Thus whilst I practice as a therapist I will also attend to my own therapy; I admit to being blinkered to how else I, or any therapist, might work authentically and in the moment for the benefit of our client.

“The therapist’s active presence is authentic and energised, honest and direct… Clearly this demands that the therapist is cognisant of the countertransference and has developed sufficient self awareness to monitor the potential for abuse of power within the therapeutic relationship”.  Fookes et al (2003).

I often have responded to being asked by family and friends about what it is I do with the remark that I will stand in your worst nightmare and will be there beside you.  At first this seemed a sound bite response I could give that would indicate the complexity and deepness this work might require.  However in working more with clients I see the truth in this.

In my role as a therapist I have sometimes found myself in a storm, in a nightmare, with my clients.  In this place I am looking to support my client to weather the storm; to see the path, or paths, that present themselves; and to be available in supporting my clients to reach inside and find that illumination, not matter how small or faint, that is theirs; and to offer a shield whilst they bring this illumination forth, kindling and sparking with their own contact with other.

I have achieved the ability to support my clients through working on myself with honesty and purpose.  I hope I am open to continued growth and keep the capacity to look into those places within me that remain shadowing and dark.

In our final workshop of last year we were asked about our motivations for working as therapists and in this essay I have expressed mine: the satisfaction of being in contact; the satisfaction in giving respect as a human being; providing an environment for self growth; my pleasure in seeing this blossom.

Additionally I voiced confidence that I am motivated by a sense that this is something that I am able to do.  Several of my peers expressed joy, for me, that I am able to make this statement.  I felt joy in making this statement.

I have found a confidence that has no equal in my past; surpassing the confidence in knowing I could run a sub 53seconds 400m; or that I never failed to tackle or catch in playing rugby; or that I have been measured successful in all my career choices, including attaining head of mathematics in eight years of teaching or managing a 350 user, multi-site, multi-server computer environment.

For in the past there was no core belief in myself.  From four years ago when I had no desire to live, and chose not to I now find, in the present, I have the belief in myself; a belief that is growing.

I have a deep sense that in my role as a therapist this poem reflects how and what I hope to have and give with my clients.  So I end with my poem:

When

When you listen to me

I hear the stirring in my heart

When you whisper to me

I see the brightness in my mind

When you speak to me

I feel the warmth in my soul

When you meet me

I sense the life in my world

When you answer me

I believe the strength in my self

Reference List

Clarkson, P. (2000) Gestalt Counselling in Action, 2nd Edition, London, Sage

Erskine, R. G., (1995) A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Shame and Self Righteousness: Theory and Methods. British Gestalt Journal Vol4, 1 p107-117

Erskine, R. G., (1999) The Psychotherapist’s Myths, Dreams, and Realities, keynote speech at the Second World Congress for Psychotherapy in Vienna, Austria, www.integrativetherapy.com

Fookes, A., Howard, L., & Senior, M., (2003) MSc Gestalt Psychotherapy, A Relational-Developmental Approach,  Student Handbook 2003-2004. SPTI

Hycner, R. & Jacobs, L. (1995) The Healing Relationship in Gestalt Therapy, New York: The Gestalt Journal Press.

Perls F, Hefferline, R, Goodman P. (1951:1984) Gestalt Therapy Excitement and Growth in The Human Personality, New York. Souvenir Press, London

Yontef, G. (1993) Awareness Dialogue & Process Essays on Gestalt Therapy, Gestalt Journal Press, New York

Zinker, J., (1978) Creative Processes in Gestalt Therapy. Vantage Books, New York